Monday, December 24, 2007

Politics... Argh...Thomas Merton

I love The Peanuts cartoons- in particular, I love the exclamation of disgust/frustration/anger that Lucy (I think) used to do: it went something like this "ARRGGGHH!"

The one thing I loved about the Episcopal Church was that it was (seemingly) evolved beyond all the BS that I grew up with in The Southern Baptist Convention. Events of the last 4-5 years have proven otherwise. Lucky for me, I live in a liberal Diocese with a great Bishop (IMHO) and the politics have been agreeable to me thus far (at least on the local level).

Recent events in California are another matter. For the play by play, I defer to my friend "Father Jake." I find what happened at St. Nicholas in California most disconcerting. However, read the accounts of what transpired yesterday and you will see a classic example of how I feel the Holy Spirit can work in the worst of situations. I project myself into a "difficult" church situation like that someday and wonder what it would be like. Fr. Fred indeed experienced a "thin time" yesterday- I hope that he knows we are with him in prayer and spirit.

I also defer to Thomas Merton. I like this prayer for times like this:

MY LORD GOD, I have no idea where I am going.
I do not see the road ahead of me.
I cannot know for certain where it will end.
Nor do I really know myself, and the fact that I think that I am following your will does not mean that I am actually doing so.
But I believe that the desire to please you does in fact please you.
And I hope I have that desire in all that I am doing.
I hope that I will never do anything apart from that desire.
And I know that if I do this you will lead me by the right road though I may know nothing about it.
Therefore will I trust you always though I may seem to be lost and in the shadow of death.
I will not fear, for you are ever with me, and you will never leave me to face my perils alone.


Shalom

timmah

Sunday, December 23, 2007

The Best Christmas Pageant Ever

I was talking to Liz, my therapist, last week about Christmas. I had decided that I did not like it much and that maybe that was the originating point for the funk that I was in. Funny, when I admitted to not liking it much, I actually started to feel much better. (Admitting the problem is half the battle, they say??)

But over the last few days I have been falling in love again with this season, much to my surprise. The Holy Spirit must have intervened in my house because we are finished shopping and 90% of all of our wrapping is finished. Today I had one of those things happen where I happened to take a nice gift for Tricia, the Priest I am working with at St. Dunstan's, and she had an excellent gift for me. She bought me my first Book of Common Prayer- Hymnal Combo like the ones that Priests use that have all the ribbons and the leather binding. I was struck down by her generosity (those things ain't cheap) and by the fact that it was SO appropriate to get my first "real" prayer book from her. (Luckily, I had purchased for her a creamer/ sugar bowl set from my good friend Polly the Potter! Generosity reigns supreme!)

To top it all off, I had the privelege of being a shepherd in the annual Christmas Pageant at St. Dunstan's. I think the moment that finally sucked me in to the Christmas spirit was when all the 2 and 3 year olds came up as the Heavenly Host with their little foil wings and halos and white robes. No more bah, humbug for me, I am afraid.

God works in mysterious ways- sometimes through tiny children, apparently.

Crisis Mode- Advent One Sermon

Note- This was the sermon I preached for the Advent One RCL scriptures for the Wednesday Night Eucharist at Candler Seminary. 3 weeks later, here it is:


Dead asleep…..2 AM. Something- a cockroach, dog, child getting water, inadvertently activates the motion detector on your burglar alarm system... You bolt upright, grabbing your robe.. your slippers.. the baseball bat or 9-iron underneath your bed. In a show of true valor you call the dog over and tell him to "go downstairs boy- see who's here..."

You inch down the steps looking for a burglar, heart racing uncontrollably, hands shaking. You check all the windows and doors. You wait for the alarm company to call so you can give them the code word and call off the police and then go back up to bed and try to calm down enough to go to sleep...the thief in the night was a phantom of electronics…

A “thief in the night” breaking in is a looming reality in my neighborhood. Recently, neighbors up the hill on Dekalb Avenue had their door broken down by robbers who then started shooting- one of them jumped from his balcony, suffering horrible injuries to his face and teeth. Thank God, no one was killed- but my neighbors are scarred for life.

I can't imagine anything scarier than someone invading the safe, secure place we make for our children and ourselves.. home. This horrible possibility puts us all into crisis mode- fight or flight, some call it. The worst part of even the possibility of a home invasion is that matter how much work you do- no matter if you stay up all night (as Jesus describes in the Gospel) you cannot know whether or not your preparation will keep you safe. You are truly out of control, in the end.

A lot of work has been done in the science of the brain on how we react to crisis. Dr. Paul Mclean, a Neuropsychiatrist, discovered years about that each of us has a "mammal brain" and a "lizard brain." Our "lizard brain" or reptilian brain is the part of our brain that is in charge of keeping us alive- in charge of things that are not the best of humanity: rage, territoriality, fear of strangers and our fight or flight response- keeping us alert to all danger. The lizard brain causes our heart rate to skyrocket, our blood pressure to go up, the surface temperature of our skin falls , our pupils dilate- it makes us ready to fight and defend ourselves.

When I hear someone telling me things like Jesus does in this Matthew 24, I find myself thinking with my "lizard brain." A thief in the night is unacceptable, frightening, and induces us to our worst, violent behavior in an effort to defend family and territory.

The Gospel writer has Jesus give us more terrifying one-liners in Matthew 24- the stuff of horror movies: "they will hand you over to be tortured and you will be put to death" in 24:9. He speaks of "desolating sacrilege" in 24:15 and he tells the disciples that "the sun will be darkened and the moon will not give its light; the stars will fall from heaven." The Gospel writer also has Jesus saying that he will "send out his angels with a loud trumpet call, and they will gather his elect from the four winds, from one end of heaven to the other."

Our Advent lessons begin for us with a horror show, of sorts, scary stuff that could be taken to mean watch out... God is coming.. he is angry and you'd better take care, it seems to be telling us.

I'm a big fan of the Horror genre. Jesus does make us pay attention to when the Gospel has him sounding scary in Matthew 24. Why the apocalypse during a period when we are supposed to be happy- reinforcing for us a nasty underbelly of our month filled with family, friends, parties and all-round debauchery that is supposed to be “the most wonderful time of the year?”

Why all the things going bump in the night when we want sleigh bells and Christmas carolers? Why all the Stephen King when we want Santa and Frosty the Snowman and Baby Jesus in a nice, soft, manger? How are we to understand these passages that throw us into a crisis mentality instead of a peaceful state of joy and peace?

Two Psychiatrists published a study in which they studied the effects of fear and crisis on the Amygdala- an area of our brain that is important in processing memory and emotion. What they discovered was that things that produced outright terror used a small part of the Amygdala (the lizard brain I mentioned earlier). This was not surprising. The interesting thing, though is that hey also discovered that ambiguity- not knowing exactly what is going on or what will happen- makes the brain more alert than things that produce outright fear. They said in their study that "vigilance is the body's reaction to something new that promotes the various system's need to be alert to potentially important information." Vigilance is when we are truly awake. We use our whole brain- and perhaps our whole being and attention.

And see, Jesus ends the string of terrifying images with some great advice that helps us, during this often dark time of the lectionary year. He urges us to be alert - to be vigilant and awake and (most of all) to not be afraid. “
"Keep awake therefore, for you do not know on what day your Lord is coming" “…for the Son of Man is coming at an unexpected hour."

Keep awake. Be ready. Be vigilant.

He urges us to use our whole brain, our whole being, and get ready for Christmas during Advent. The Gospel has him telling us that we can release ourselves from the things that paralyze us- fear, darkness, anxiety, busyness- that are so much a part of what the culture calls “The Christmas Season- not through terror- through self desctructive emotional and mental energy but through vigilance and readiness.

How do we develop vigilance? How do we get ready for Christmas? Do we spend our time trying to stay off the naughty list ? And anyway, could any of us ever NOT be one it? (Well, my Mom is here, and she is definitely not on it, but the rest of us… I am not so sure…) Are we ever really ready for the kind of love God offers us through Jesus when Christmas does arrive? Are we ever good enough, clean enough, observant enough, or spiritual enough?
No- nothing we can do- no amount of vigilance we practice to conquer the fear and darkness of winter can get us prepared for God’s “wondrous love.”

God does not care a whit if we are ready or vigilant. In spite of all of our anxiety-hurry- busyness- over the holiday- Christmas comes anyway- whether we want it to or not- kind of like a thief in the night.

Jesus invades the territory of our lives and insists upon being taking part in who we are- ready or not. God insists upon coming into the earth- so much so that he finds the most humble, ordinary route possible in getting here- a young, impoverished, unmarried teenager, and shows up- ready or not.

Our God desperately wants to be a part of our lives and we are to prepare ourselves, during Advent, for this reality!

God’s going to come whether we like it or not - but not as a boogieman who steals us away during the night or on a white horse in the clouds or a behind the pulpit of a church , but as a tiny baby.

Some friends in my liturgy class gave me this poem by Madeline L’Engle. Listen how she reminds us that God did not wait for anything and showed up for us at Christmas:

First Coming- by Madeline L’Engle
God did not wait till the world was ready,
till . . . nations were at peace.
God came when the Heavens were unsteady,
and prisoners cried out for release.

God did not wait for the perfect time.
God came when the need was deep and great.
God dined with sinners in all their grime,
turned water into wine. God did not wait

till hearts were pure. In joy God came
to a tarnished world of sin and doubt.
To a world like ours, of anguished shame
God came, and God’s Light would not go out.

God came to a world which did not mesh,
to heal its tangles, shield its scorn.
In the mystery of the Word made Flesh
the Maker of the stars was born.

We cannot wait till the world is sane
to raise our songs with joyful voice,
for to share our grief, to touch our pain,
God came with Love: Rejoice! Rejoice!

May you remember during advent to raise your songs in joyful voice sharing a God who came with love to heal the tangles of this world in the word made flesh.

Amen.