Evaluation-- Forgiveness- Light

One of the ever-present realities of this journey toward Priesthood that I am on is that I feel like I am constantly being evaluated. And I suppose that I am because I am in school right now and I have lots of stuff to do that people with lots of letters next to their names are going to get to evaluate. I think that evaluation is a real struggle for me. You wouldn't know it from the look of things sometimes (because I am kind of a slacker when it comes down to it sometimes) but I am pretty hard on myself. I am much harder and less forgiving to myself than I am to others and they are to me, in fact.

I am probably not alone in this, though. Get a room full of people- especially Pastors and pastor wannabes like me, and you will probably find people who have fairly high standards for themselves most of the time. You will probably find people who care deeply about others and genuinely feel other people's pain and are comfortable with descending into the abyss with others to bring hope. Good, kind, compassionate folks line the halls of Candler Seminary- some of the greatest human beings this world has to offer, truly. But what I have come to realize about myself this Advent season is that I am really tough on myself. And I feel bad that others are probably the same way.

I think that this is kind of a sin, though. Not to compound things and make anyone feel worse- but if you look at sin as something that "separates" us from God, then when we are too hard on ourselves, we are calling bullshit on God's grace. We are hedging God's forgiveness. "I know you forgave me God, but I still feel horrible..." we seem to say. As a wise man told me recently, we have a God who forgives everything..... period.... So, we should do the same for ourselves, since our creator has done it already... Easier said than done.

The same wise man recalled Martin Luther for me and how his confessor, Van Staupitz, said to him once, "Martin you are wrong-- God is not mad at you!!!" Even Martin Luther had a hard time with forgiving himself.

This Advent, good people, I pray for all of us the grace to forgive ourselves, give ourselves a big fat hairy break and the room to bask in the forgiving grace of God. Let us chip away at our darkness this Advent so when the light of Christ comes on Christmas, we can soak it in and share it with everyone else as truly forgiven people. The good news is that God has done the work through Jesus. We just have to believe it for ourselves.

For Faith, Risk Everything-June Johnson

Advent gets short shrift in Christendom. Another reason I'm a fan of The Episcopal Church is that we try a little harder at paying attention to Advent in preparation for Christmas.

One of my classmates, June Johnson- a most lovely, engaging, and extremely gifted lady who is a Postulant from The Diocese of Georgia- did this sermon for Wednesday Night Eucharist at Candler. It really spoke to me, so I asked her if I could post it here. I hope someone reads it on this blog.

For God Risk Everything…

Christ has died

Christ is risen

Christ will come again

CHRIST WILL COME AGAIN!!!!

Each Sunday as we prepare to celebrate the Eucharist we affirm these mysteries of our faith – that Christ died for us, that Christ conquered death and that Christ will come again into our world. We say these things because the truth expressed is at the very core of our faith. Our readings today help us to understand what we affirm in these words.

Isaiah asks that God tear open the heavens and come down to earth – God did just that when Jesus came to us in flesh just like ours and offered Himself as a Sacrifice for our redemption. The greatness of God humbled and contained in the flesh of men and women – God proving to us that we are loved so deeply that God chose to become like us.

Jesus in the flesh who contained all of the power and mercy of God and all of the sin and helplessness and aspirations to goodness of humanity – revealing to us the way of reconciliation and eternal life.

In our Gospel reading we hear Jesus teaching the disciples that they must stay awake and alert – that the Son of Man would return to the earth with great power and glory – rending once again the heavens and sweeping away all darkness and fear, gathering the beloved children of God into eternal life. Jesus speaks of the sun being darkened and the stars falling out of the sky.

I must admit to you that I have never been a great fan of apocalyptic writings, even the book of Revelation. The “Left Behind” series will never appear on my reading list! In part, this is because it seems to me that half the horror books and movies take the images of “end times” in the Scripture and present them in blood-drenched, squirm-inducing, fang-flashing prose or pictures. Not my favorite way to spend “entertainment” time! More than that, these books and movies always miss the point.

We are not given these images the second coming to frighten us – we are told these things so that we will be assured of God’s love and power to save us. We are promised not just that we are saved from sin and evil – a glorious mercy in itself – but that we are saved to be with God in life everlasting AND that God will come again to bring us into eternal light with God’s own being, with Jesus Christ the Lord.

Advent reminds us that God fulfills the promises that God has made in the life, death and resurrection of Christ. Our life everlasting with God is here and now as we love and serve Jesus and will continue throughout eternity because God holds us in God’s heart.

Advent calls on us to live everyday not as if it is our last,

but as if it is the last day before the Lord returns --

our last chance to mend our relationships and

heal the hurts we have caused others

our last down in service to others in Christ’s name

our last at bat to confess our sins and open ourselves to forgiveness

the final putt to good stewardship of our wealth and possessions

the final chorus of our praise and worship of the one true God.

Advent reminds us that we have forever with God, but not forever here on earth to work for justice, for the welfare of those in need, for peace with our enemies. There will be an end to this world and our time in it. There will come a moment when we face all of our words and deeds in the clear light of God’s judgment. We will be able to offer to God only what we have done in Jesus’s name – not what we intended to do or would have done if only…

Advent calls us to sit on the very edge of time and see what has been,

what is and what will be all coming together. To reflect on the power of a God who came into our world loving us enough to put the fullness of God into the life of Jesus. To reflect on the power and love of a God who comes to live inside our hearts and minds in the form of the Holy Spirit and never, ever leaves us, who knits us to Christ Jesus by threads that will never become loosened. God sought us, God seeks us and God will never let us go from God’s self. What have we to fear?

We have to fear our own smallness, our inability to lift our eyes to the magnificence of the glory of God. We must fear our indifference to the gifts of God, our restrictions on the blessings we are willing to receive, our inattention to the work of God in us and around us. Our refusal to stand at the heart of Advent and to see the promise of what will be in the promise of what has been.

The poet Thomas Troeger writes these words:

For God risk everything!

since everything we own,

our laughter, tears, the songs we sing,

our breath, our flesh and bone,

are no more ours to keep

than the wind that rushes by

or dreams that flicker in our sleep

or clouds that fade to sky.

How shriveled, Lord, the soul

that grips what it receives

and dares not free its anxious hold

but foolishly believes

that you are too severe

to pardon any loss,

forgetting how your son made clear

forgiveness on the cross.

From hearts that hide and hoard

the treasures that you send,

free us, till we by faith, O Lord,

shall act as you intend,

till we risk all for you,

risk everything you give,

and risking learn what Jesus knew:

by risking all we live.

-Troeger, #45, Above the Moon Earth Rises

Oxford University Press, 2002

Advent calls us to risk everything on the future with God. Everything!

Are you ready to do that?